This is a recent “manifesto” of sorts I posted to my Facebook account before I disabled it. I wanted to re-post it here to remind myself to be true to myself and what is really important.
Autumn is my favorite time of year. As the earth shifts on the equinox it feels like the right time to bring what is in my heart in line with my actions. Almost a full turn ago, on the Winter Solstice, I turned 50. The onset of my crone years has never been something I feared but I have felt a certain sense of “but wait I’m not where I thought I would be”! The last nine months have passed by without any real forward movement for me, in fact in some aspects I may have even stepped backward. So as I near the end of my 51st year, with the coming of Autumn, I realize that time is not unlimited for me. It really isn’t for any of us but generally we continue to expect tomorrow and may not live today to the fullest. I’m not feeling dismal or gloomy or being morbid. It is what it is, as they say. But today I am struck by the silly waste of another precious year. So I ask myself what it is I would like to accomplish in these crone years, where did I think I would be and why am I not there? What needs to be done? For starters, I am going to stop wasting time on things that are of no true consequence or value to me. I’m going to turn away from battles that really aren’t mine to fight. I am going to stop worrying about how others perceive me, I can’t change that anyway. I’m going to spend my time doing things that are meaningful to me. I am going to live my ethics, vote my conscience, and stop caring that it’s often different from how most people I know feel. I’m going to create things that I want to create for the simple joy of creating them and not care one bit if anyone likes it. I’m going to shake hands with the pain of the past, honor it and then let it go on about its business…. I don’t need it anymore anyway. I’m going to live my life like my days are numbered, which really… they are… I hope to still have many to live to the fullest.