I have started a tree to stand as a sentinel to watch over the dormant seeds during the dark months. The variegated thread I am using has gifted her with a personality I had not expected. SHE has definitely developed a very feminine feel to her, and at this point is balanced between light and dark… because her trunk was wide, I had decided to stitch three rows of satin stitch to fill her, but seeing the way she twists light and dark together I am thinking I may leave her to dance her magic as she is. I’m rather liking how she is developing, still engaged in the process and developing the tale.
I finished stitching the basket to hold the seed-promise until spring. I loved stitching the basket coils, it gave me lots of time to create the story while spending time with the whole piece. I think for the first time in a long time it was all about the process and not really about the end result. But even if there is something I end up not liking about this one, I feel connected to it. I don’t think I would be able to cast it aside as a failure because we have spoken to each other… we are friends now. This is a strange new thing for me, and one I have always hoped for, this connection to the creation…we have shared!
I’m sort of funny about crippling myself when working on projects. I always think and overthink to the point of paralysis. And what do I think? The usual fear of being creative things like: what if it’s no good; what if it looks good and I ruin it with the next idea; what if I’m copying someone else; what if my story makes no sense; what if my symbolism is all wrong; what if what if what if….. I’m a big fan of Jude Hill at Spirit Cloth and she does a lot of “What Iffing”. I don’t think this is the sort of questions she means to ask… What if I fail? I have been working on this Seed Moon piece since January. I think I know where I want to go but I worry that my ideas aren’t valid, that the work will look too similar to and influenced by things I’ve seen on Jude’s blog or in her workshops. But then, would it not be influenced by those that have inspired me? Is that not natural? Her work, for example inspires me because of the symbols she uses and the materials she works with, the way that her pieces seem to reflect growth and passage. This inspires me because it is honest and true, it is the sort of thing I admire and want to do. Seeing those things makes me want to express my own passages through life. It gives me a jumping off point to find my own way of expression. So with the Seed Moon, (which has been lying idle because I fear my next idea…) I want to convey an idea that was triggered by several blog entries Jude wrote about baskets I read while I was piecing the background. I had started to formulate the seed moon idea at that point when I started thinking about those baskets…. “What if the moon was a basket that held the promise of seed life safe until spring”. With all sorts of ideas floating in a misty nebula of my mind about what happens in spring to draw the life up from the seeds….to be sorted out while stitching the Seed Moon Basket. The truth is I think I am totally riffing Jude’s basket, it isn’t cleanly my idea. But it feels so right and expresses what I want to say.. Is that unethical? I’ve been paralyzed over this point but today I finally succumbed to the need to satin stitch that basket. And OMG it felt so amazing to stitch, it felt right and beautiful and there was peace. I NEED to make this piece, I need to follow my inspiration through, I need to stitch my way through my fears that it won’t be good enough, I need the seeds of my ideas to rest in the moon basket-to incubate and sprout into something alive and beautiful. I must stitch. Please go to Jude’s blog and see her baskets and moons and feathers, I hope you too will be inspired. Jude Hill – Spirit Cloth